Cause Crocs just aren't Scary Enough
by Mite Mite
Summary: Steve Erwin, the Crocodile Hunter, is stalking our lovable boys during their first year of college
1. It Starts

This is a bday fic fer Skeren Dremer! So that mean's no touchie or postie on other sites without meh permission!......oh,   
  
and G wing belongs to Bandai and others.  
  
Because Crocs just aren't Scary enough...  
  
* camara zoom and focus* "G'day, mates! I'm Steve Erwin, the Crocidile Hunter, and today on Call of the Wild we are going   
  
to study some of the most fasenating creatures known to man: College Students! And, from what I've heard, these are fiesty   
  
li'l critters! Let's go an have a look, eh?"  
  
*steve is walking down a dorm halway.sudenly, out of nowhere, a Dorm Hulk appears!* "My God! Just look at that! Now kids,  
  
this is the rare an beu-teh-full Dorm Hulk, a monstrously 'uge an gigantic beast that lives in old dormitories an has the  
  
nasty habbit of stealing your pants!" *ducks and runs under the monstrosaty.* "Tha was a close one!"*turns a corner* "Ah,  
  
room 145, the room of todays first specimen, one that we are going to call Heero Yuy, the campus' elusive comp sci major."  
  
*steve knoks on his door, Heero comes out,and steve slings an arm around his shoulder*  
  
"Heero, as he is refered to, resides in his darkened den, and spends all of his time in an activity known as "coding". He  
  
only emerges periodically to feast on his daily portion of cold pizza and beer."  
  
*a discrunteled looking Heero states* "You English majors can all blow me."  
  
  
  
*a non detered steve*" Oh, he's a fiesty one! Tune in next week as we dwlve into his sexual activites."  
  
*cut scene, same dorm room door, with dry erase board, with Duo scribbling something on it* "Ah, looks like we don' need to   
  
beh looking for todays second specimen, a Duo Maxwell, the campus mech major. As we can see here, Duo is quite a mischevious   
  
and, albeit, elusive creature to find. Espically when he doesn't want to be found. Also, his favorite pastime is "pranking",  
  
and he loves to do this to Heero Yuy and a Chang Wufei, who you will later see.*See's duo run off giggling like a mad man*  
  
Oi aye,looks like Duo iniated a Dry Erase Board War let's see what the little bugger did this time.*looks at dry erase board*  
  
"'For cake and anal sex, please apply within, Heero' Well, looks like he really did himself in this time, for Heero is   
  
comming down the hall this minute, and by the looks of it, he doesen't look to happy." *Heero reads the sign, looks pissed,   
  
then reverts to Perfect Soilder and pulls out a switch blade and flips it open, then runs like a mad bitch to Duo's dorm* Oh  
  
my, looks like Heero wen't into Zero Mode. Looks like nothing will stop him now. Lets go and see what happens!"  
  
* steve and camara man run to Duo's dorm. Heero is nowhere in sight* "Well, he must have buggered off. Right." He turns to   
  
leave, only to hear a gasp of horror* "Wha the?" * Duo is starring at his door with Heero at his back, grinning a rictus*  
  
"Ah, seems as if Heero did get his vengence! Lets 'ave a look as to what he put on this door" *camare pans to door, which has  
  
a carving/cartoon dipicting Duo screwing a kitty and the phrase 'I fuck kitties' above and below it*  
  
"Well, that was unexpected. We're all out of time know, but tune in tommarow as we study Trowa Barton and Quatre Winner!  
  
G'day ya'll" 


	2. The Nook

Disclaimer: See the first part if yer interested! I ain't typin' that shit again..  
  
Because Crocs just aren't Scary enough....pt 2!  
  
*camara pan and focus* "G'day yall! I'm Steve Erwin, the Crocidile Hunter and today on Call of the Wild, were gonna be  
  
studying two other great specimens on our mini-series about College Students. On our last episode, we got up close and   
  
personal with Heero Yuy, the comp sci major and Duo Maxwell, the mech major. Today, we're gonna try and see if we can track  
  
down and study Trowa Barton, a zoology major, and his mate of choice, Quatre Winner who is a busisness major. Let's go!"  
  
*camara bounces up and down as Steve and camareman run down the biology hall*  
  
"Now, after a few days of tracking and observing, we have been able to figure out Trowas schedual. About once a week, he  
  
has a free day as a floater. Yep, you guessed it, 'e's a substitute teacher. Trowa spends his day usually in rm.225-C. Let's see   
  
if he's in ther now!"*steve peeks into the room*" No sign of theh guy, must uv buggered off."*scratches head*"I know! We'll   
  
check the Econ/Busisness building on the other side of the campus!"*camara blacks out*  
  
*black, camara focous*"Okay, we're here at the Econ/Busisness building that our other specimen, a Quatre Winner, spends many  
  
of his class days in. We've been able to pinpoint his usual daily den to this hallway. We wern't ably to find his exact   
  
location because he moves around alot. But, we beleave he may be in one of study nooks, areas where a small body of students  
  
, about 5-7, can study. There are about three in this hall. Lets go an' 'ave a look, ey?"  
  
*walks to first nook and looks*"Not there" *shuts door. walks to middel section of hall, looks in nook*"Not there" *shuts   
  
door. walks to end of hall.near last nook* "OH TROWA! MMMMMMMmmmmm....YES! MORE TROWA! HARDER! UHHHHHH! AGAIN!"*slight   
  
thumping and squeaking can be heard. Steve blinks* "Well! As we can see 'ere, todays two subjects seem to be otherwise  
  
occupied". "DAMNIT TROWA! GO FASTER, OTHERWISE I WON"T TIE YOU UP!" "YES SIR! err...I mean YES DEAR!"  
  
"Well, that's our show for today" *very loud moan*. "I'm Steve" *grunt* "Erwin" *thump*, "the Crocodile Hunter"   
  
*moan: "Quatre..."*. "Tune in next week" *snap, crackel, pop* "as we observe Chang Wufei" *"ummm..uh..Quatre...?"*   
  
"and his habits." *"OH SHIT!"* "G'day" *WHAM! "Damnit Quatre! I said the table couldn't handel it!" "Oops! My Bad!"* 


End file.
